Are You Too Old

The influences of society have not yet encroached upon us. As early as a few months we are subject to the bias of our parents, siblings, and all those who encounter us. The brain starts to learn ‘what to do’ and ‘what not to do’. Anyone who has parented (and ‘reformed’) a ‘terrible twos’ kid will understand what it means to influence a child.

The biases we learn stay with us throughout our lives.

The girl who was told her voice was cacophonous may never sing, the kindergarten teacher who snapped at the boy for not following instructions while painting, may never think ‘outside’ the box.

Our experiences shape our bias

There is a great deal of effort expended on the Learning process. We go through school, spend tons of money on university/college tuition and continue our academic and professional education. In many cases 20% to 25% of our lives are spent on formal learning. In our jobs and professions, we persist with the learning culture — formally and informally. While this process is critically important, we don’t spend much time on unlearning processes.

The unlearning process is primarily seen as forgetting, ‘editing’ or refining what we have already learned. It is built into the learning process; hence very little unlearning happens.

Let’s take a step back to see what has been happening as we are learning. The textbooks we learnt from in school were written years or decades ago. The university/college education was taught with an implicit bias from the professors. The business culture you learned at your jobs was forced on you by the management. The stereotypes and habit you have formed were learned from friends and family.

Our brain retains the learning of the past. We approach the problems we face, the solutions we desire and our day to day activities, with the same set of learning.

One of the most dangerous lines in business and in life is “We have always done it this way.”

So how do we unfreeze our brains and make a paradigm shift in our thinking. We need to recognize that unlearning is difficult. It is challenging because:

Old habits die hard.

There is comfort in routine, even if that routine no longer applies or even makes sense. There is inertia in our thoughts, that needs to be overcome.

Mark Twain said, “Nothing so needs reforming as other people’s habits”

Fear

We fear the unknown. If we have always done it ‘this way’ and for the most part and it works, why try something else. I can swim from one end of the pool to the other, keeping my head above water. Do I really need to learn proper breathing techniques? The answer is yes, if you want to go further. I would need to unlearn my improper but workable stroke and relearn the proper method.

Brain Algorithms.

The brain stores the learned process in its algorithms. Repeating the process strengthens these algorithms. The malleability to change decreases. A stunning example is the “Backward Riding Bicycle”.

We have all heard the phrase ‘you never forget how to ride a bike.’ And that’s true as the brain has stored your bike riding abilities. But what happens if the bike is changed (turning the handle left makes it go right and vice versa); we cannot ride anymore.

The only thing that’s constant is change. The people around us change, our relationships change, technologies change and the environment around us changes. To help us navigate this terrain, we must change. Change comes through unlearning and relearning. We have mastered the process of learning; we now need to unlearn and relearn.

It takes 21 days to formulate a habitual pattern in your life whether it’s good or bad. 90 days to turn that habit into a lifestyle and 10 000 hours to turn that lifestyle into a value.

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